Are you in a sexless marriage? …a marriage which with challenges of impotence and infertility, differences in sexual desires, and all unresolved sex-related issues in marriage?
Sexless marriage may pose a very serious issue depending on the individual marriage rules that the husband and wife have set for their marriage. To save this sort marriage the willingness of both parties to work together is a must.
There are vital questions you may need to answer in order to fashion how best to help the marriage.
Sexless marriage resulting from impotence:
Is it a treatable one or untreatable?
What lead to it?
Was it natural or a consequence of unsafe past actions? Have you seen an expert on the issue?
How big do both parties consider the problem to be?
Sexless marriage resulting from infertility:
What is the root cause of the infertility?
Was it abortion, sickness, natural occurrence?
Have you spoken to a gynecologist?
How concerned are both partners in fixing this marriage problem?
For Other sexless marriage problems without illness:
You may consider asking yourself…
Do you still love each other?
If no, what could be responsible?
Do you and your spouse anticipate sex time with feelings of pleasure?
Or does it produce feelings of pressure, obligation or guilt?
How do you and your partner enjoy sex?
If either one or both of you are left with negative feelings about your sex life, then consider finding out why.
You and your partner may just have a little disparity in sexual needs. If that is the case, all you need is to sit with your spouse and talk it over. I strongly believe that this alone can end the bad marriage problem.
But if the difference is very large, it can be a major threat to the relationship. The one with a lower desire often feels pressure to do something he or she doesn’t want to do. It eventually leads to resentment, hatred and further lack of interest for sex.
On the other hand, the partner with the higher sexual desire feel rejected, unloved, frustrated and desperate. This creates an uneasy gap that threatens the love and joy in that marriage.
However there are two suggestions I would offer to those with substantial level of disparity in sexual desires:
First, the one with a lower sexual desire may explore other options to satisfying his or her spouse other than sexual intercourse. This will avoid forcing the partner with the lower sexual desire against his or her wish.
If the above doesn’t work, it may be that the problem has persisted for too long. Therefore I would suggest the services of a marriage therapist.
There are time-tested marriage therapists and counselors that are experts in this area. They will work with you and your spouse to find a solution. However, before you pay anyone to help you out make sure you research on them. Not everyone who claims expertise can actually help.
In the next few days I will be suggesting some well researched authorities in the field of marriage therapy. Be sure to visit blog to know them. And always remember that most bad marriages can be fixed and so will yours.
To the saving of your marriage! Cheers.
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