Saturday, November 1, 2008

3 Simple Steps to Effective Communication In Marriage

Communication in marriage is the major factor that determines the direction a marriage goes. If the husband and the wife can just learn what it takes to effectively communicate with each other it becomes very easy for them to whether the storms of trying times. This article was designated to help you win by effective communication in marriage.

One of the easiest ways to save a troubled marriage through effective communication is for the couple to practice listening more to each other. Before marriage, listening was the magnet, pulling them together, or at least, pretending to be listening did that.

It is funny most married couples think they can survive without connecting through listening. Think about it… there were other men and women in the world but they decided to listen to each other - to listen to their eyes, their caring gestures, their heart, and their love.

Even people pretending to do these often succeed in wooing their object of attraction. Issues with their kids can also be solved this way too; by listening and reacting proactively to their needs. If you don’t like your lovemaking for instance, talk about it and discuss how to do it better.

Looking for satisfaction elsewhere makes you picture your ‘deficient’ spouse as inadequate, which is dangerous to the survival of your marriage. If you don’t like the food, talk about it gently, and agree on changes. If you don’t like the house, make it better together. If money is the challenge, work out ways for more prudent spending, and possibly ways to make more.

Second, practice selflessness to save your marriage. Someone once said that the true meaning of life is to plant trees under whose shade we do not expect to sit. Do not think that your husband or wife would always make you happy. It seldom works that way. Rather concentrate on making your spouse happy. Before you married him/her you did those types of things; so now, do them even more. When you do, you are also teaching him/her to do the same to you.

Give it some time… it always works. Avoid selfishness by thinking too much about yourself. It may be true that you have not been loved much. Still concentrate on giving more than you receive. You will find a joy you never thought possible in doing so. And don’t you go discussing your marital issues with your friends!

Third, practice discussing. This should have perhaps been my first point but if serves a better purpose here. Tell you why. One thing that makes marriages happy is that the couples are always discussing – even when they are annoyed at each other. Talking to each other is a rewarding way to save your marriage and make it better.

It’s pathetic when a spouse thinks he or she can better the marriage by first seeking his or her friends’ opinion. This is cowardice, rather than love. Love is bold, and love is powerful. Some of those people outside whose opinions you respect above your spouse’s mock you secretly when you discuss your marital problems with them. They may also have been secretly admiring your marriage, waiting for a crack in your marital wall, which you show them by going for their opinion.

Subsequently, they drag you into their own sinking ship, one you may not have known about. Don’t play the fool, husbands! Neither should you, wives!
Sometimes it may feel awkward to discuss problems in your marriage, especially if you had not been doing so previously. But how can you be perfect without practice? If you continue on the road of dialogue, it would become second nature such that you would build effective communication in marriage on this solid foundation in order to gallantly weather all storms.

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