Just like the pilot dictates the direction of the plane, there are marriage requirements your marriage would demand of you, to provoke true love, trust, openness, and happiness in your love relationship. Fulfill these basic marriage requirements for love and you’ll eliminate crisis in your marriage.
These marriage requirements should dictate every step and action you take in your home. Even if it currently seems that you are the only one who’s interested in saving the marriage, your deliberate but genuine acts love and affection powerful enough work wonders.
They will capture the attention of your spouse and save your marriage.
Understanding these requirements eliminate the need for selfish marriage ‘laws’ and obligations. They are not stereotyped to demand expectations of perfect qualities in your spouse.
They are marriage spices that put the happiness of both you and your spouse ahead of individual desires.
I know you are interested in knowing these requirements… so let’s go straight to them. I will place them in form of questions because your reflection on them is what builds the right character in you.
1. Am I ready to be Flexible?
Marriage is full of uncertainties and surprises. These uncertainties are not determined by how ‘perfect’ you or your spouse seems to be. Not even compatibility or religious belief will stop uncertainties.
It’s like a 100 miles trip by road across the country…
You have a destination you are prepared to reach. Yet you may have to stop to remove obstacles on your path. You may even have to take a bypass to avoid obstructions due to collapsed trucks. It may just be the vehicle that needs a check up. But what ever it is…
But the journey continues!
That is exactly how you have to treat your marriage. So many resolvable family problems have led to divorce because no one had a decision to be flexible and expect the unexpected.
Every time there is a love-threatening issue in your marriage, do not react... just respond based on what is best for your relationship. You will look back and be happy if you handle your marriage problems this way.
2. Am I willing to forbid a Possible Marriage Exit?
The success of your marriage requires a mentality of I-have-no-option-but-to-make-this-marriage-work.
You may have dreamt of a perfect marriage with a perfect spouse ... a marriage with no pains… only happiness, comfort, trust, care, frequent love picnics, going surfing every Saturday morning together and so on.
While it is possible to experience most of these in your marriage, it will be ridiculous to think that they will happen all the time. Every marriage has its not-too-good times.
When such times come, the only reinforcement to happiness is your character- built decision to stay it through.
3. Am I willing To Forgive Always?
One of the easiest ways to keep trouble away from your marriage is a strong decision to forgive. This is a very difficult thing to do especially if you have special rules and expectations.
But let me ask you? Which one do you prefer- an unsettled life of scolding your spouse for breaking your rules? …or a fun-filled life of overlooking mistakes… knowing that your spouse is only human?
When you understand that you don’t need a perfect spouse to enjoy an outstanding love marriage life, you will find it easier to forgive your spouse –even before the mistake arises. Believe me… your spouse will love and respect you even more and will learn to do the same.
4. Am I ready to make our love relationship a priority?
You can easily improve the quality of your love life when you set your relationship as a major priority. Yes… you have kids you love. But the well being and future of your kids are a function of your healthy marriage relationship with your spouse.
Your time… your talent… your ambitions… they will only be maximized if your love relationship with your spouse is in great condition. You need to nurture your marriage like a baby.
The good news is that it’s never too late to make marriage amendments. As long as you are willing you can provoke the willingness of your spouse and settle down to make it work.
What you can help each other to achieve in a healthy love marriage relationship can never be achieved in a loveless marriage.
5. Am I willing to be Open to My Spouse?
Openness is a marriage requirement that must be met to keep relationship problems away. Your spouse will always need to understand you to maintain trust and confidence in you.
Even if you make a mistake or do something that annoys your spouse, your openness will compel him to communicate his or her feelings to you rather than allowing it to affect the love and intimacy both of you share.
Lack of marriage communication is one major cause of bad marriages and it can simply be avoided when both partners share their feelings freely, no matter who hurts who.
You will most certainly get what you give in your relationship. So give openness to your spouse and you will receive much more from him or her. Marriage doesn’t change who we are but only reveals who we are.
The powerful tool for change is decision and making a decision to be open to your spouse will not only guarantee a healthy marriage but also a happy and productive life.
My fingers are beginning to itch. I will post a part II containing the other love marriage requirements tomorrow. Cheers.
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